Truth is, it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...
I will say that I have never been prouder of all my years..than those as a single mother...mainly because my boys always say...thank you mum you are the best!
Becoming a single parent despite the reasons following a divorce is one of the most devastating events you go through in your life yet not many people talk about it.
The fact is most single mums are more likely to experience mental health issues than those that have partners because of the high stressors and ongoing demands involved .
The stigma attached to being a single mum still remains alive and is most prevalent when dealing with financial institutions.
I have met many single mums in the clinic and I can see the pain, struggle and hardships in their eyes and they all say the same thing..nobody understands.
I will say that unless you've been living it and lived the hardships there are illusions about the reality of the situation.
Truth is its the hardest thing I've ever had to do!
Financially, physically and emotionally the responsibility of raising the children is usually left to the primary caretaker where the majority of women end up doing it all, like taking days off to take care of their sick children, doing the school runs, filing in forms and all without back up.
Some women will argue that their husband does nothing..but reality is most are present and majority of the time providing, there is another set of hands, and another set of shoulders to buffer the ongoing thing called life.
As a single mum there is no work life balance. Earn more and lave less time with your kids or work less and struggle financially...either way theres guilt involved.
At night theres nobody there to share your worries and fears and it can all become really exhausting.
You may feel like you failed, but remember that your children are the gift. Do your best and lower your expectations of yourself. You'll be ok and so will your children.
Don't try to justify yourself to those that have never lived it...
I just hope that as a society we can support all mothers and view this as an equal priority.
Lots of love
- Naturopath
